A fresh start?

Is it possible to have a fresh start? What does that mean? Do I really want it? Yes and no. A new semester, a fifth one at that, when most of my friends are out and about, if you will. Different places in the world, different ways of thinking through their daily lives. Up at 7, dressed for work, in meetings, go to yoga, home again for dinner. Repeat. All the while attempting to (a) use the brain, (b) apply gained knowledge and (c) make a difference. In the way a cube-mate or manager perceives you, in the way your work is considered, in the success of yourself and a company, and a difference in the world.

A fresh start. Fresh starts are good. Needed. They keep people sharp. Interested in learning. No new starts = stagnation in my opinion, although how does one define a fresh start? Barcelona would have been that, perhaps too much so. That was more 'goodbye' than 'hello,' more far away and maybe running away than new and fun. Back to the fresh start. A new way of thinking through things I always welcome. New friends are always welcome. Interesting conversations that lead to new friends or new places with old friends I also welcome. New experiences typically walk hand in hand with excitement, fear, fun, and a widening perspective. These I love. I hope to live my entire life without ever feeling bored or stagnating. By always opening the door on new experiences, be they difficult or just fun. Shutting the door on the past? No. Never. I cherish most if not all experiences I have had. Even the difficult ones. I'm learning more and more that it's the difficult ones that really make me feel alive. That it's the arguments that matter that truly lead to an understanding that is lasting. That the losses tend to redefine the present, and redefine perspectives. Redefine understanding. Bring you closer to others and farther from some.

I'm 29 and still young - still carded often - still uncertain where I will end up and what I'll do. But I'm inspired by my surroundings. By difficulties and by uncertainties. By visionaries, attempting to spur action from others. By people aspiring to be better and different. What makes me frustrated? Assumptions. Wrong ones, typically. Closed minds and the inability to think through 'different.' The inability to put others first and yourself last. The inability to understand and to operate from that understanding rather than from insecurity.

Smiley. That's the impression that many people have of me. I like that. I love to smile, to laugh, to connect with people through good times. It's a surface impression, sure, one that only represents the me that people know in short spurts. I'm not concerned, just thoughtful.

I'm interested in knowing what I will say if I have a blog. Some people start them when traveling. I'm having many adventures while sitting still. Well, "still" is relative. Staying in one geographic area but always moving probably defines it more accurately. I wonder and I challenge myself to see things as a traveler. What does that mean? To find the fresh start even while waking up in the same bed. To find true interest where there was less previously. To find the best parts about being a tourist -- the excitement, the photos, the awe. A good mission to have, and one that assumes optimism in people and optimism in myself. I haven't written in a journal since...well, since last Spring. Historically I write about big things in my life. Try to capture a bit of what I'm thinking. Relationships, experiences, endings. So I have it for perpetuity. Blogs seem like an excellent way to capture thoughts in the moment, to create a work of art that is thoughts on paper. I don't like the fact that if I write for others, I'm not writing for myself. So I'll avoid it. Write for myself as much as I possibly can. Cheers to that. Cheers to creating homage to thoughts that have not yet hit the page. Thoughts that are unformed. A design approach? I'll try. I find that type of 'out of the box' thinking profoundly interesting.

So -- here goes.